"I would think you would be really depressed if you went from this way of life back to the way we used to live," The Papa said the other day while we had lunch with friends.
Looking back at our life just over three months ago the contrasts are huge. Where once there was electricity there is now minimal solar power. Where once there was running water there is now a hose connected to a solar-powered pump (a luxury by many standards).
Our solar-powered refrigerator is the size of a very small freezer, a freezer is something we are currently living without, we go to the bathroom in a homemade composting toilet that consists of a bucket and a toilet seat, and I have not taken what y’all might consider to be a "real shower" in over three months.
But these, frankly, are things that shouldn’t matter when pondering the "how then shall we live" question. Every now and then I daydream of showers and washing machines and flushing toilets, but then I remember one of the many reasons that we are here.
I see it in my husband’s face when he spends his day working with his hands, building things, digging holes, preparing soil for a garden. He no longer has to pretend that what he does every day is okay even though it disconnects him from his family, his faith, and his reliance on God.
I see it in my precious children’s perspectives when they tell me they didn’t like it when Papa used to have to leave for work every day. Giving them our time, and struggling daily not to be hypocrites, is all I know of to give to them.
The Price Thereof
About 95% of the time I don’t miss the old, easier way of doing things. We were fortunate enough to start with nothing more on our land than a camper and a catch water system. The process of building up the very basic infrastructures of life is incredibly important, I think, in the process of realizing what you truly need and what, frankly, you can live without.
But that doesn’t mean that things aren’t hard sometimes, even if you can see the bigger picture.
The only food we are producing is one egg per day and a baby winter garden that won’t be ready for harvesting for quite some time. Neither of us has a job working away from the homestead. Until we are truly producing, we feed our family with the not-very-consistent proceeds from this blog, the free-lance writing and editing jobs I have done, and a very exciting new project The Papa has been working on.
There is savings, used for bigger projects or midwife payments, but we are hoping to save that for infrastructure.
When the Rubber Meets the Road
We are trying to trust the Lord to provide in every instance. But you realize really fast that saying "I trust the Lord for our provisions" is much easier when you are selling your soul to a corporation for a paycheck than it is when you actually step out of that cocoon and start making an attempt at an obedient life.
But isn’t that the point? Nothing worth anything is easy and nothing worth anything comes from staying where you are simply because it is comfortable.
And what is the point of comfort and money if it comes at the cost of true freedom in being able to live one’s life according to one’s conscience?